Swinger College

How to Distinguish Good Instinct from Inexperience?

Hey There… Brand New Couple Here… Experience: ZERO beyond a couple of public meets and extensive IM convos with one couple (if we’re white belts, they’re one or two belts up from that).

My wife and I are looking for another couple with which to explore her bi-curiosities and other fantasies and feel really safe with this couple, except for one thing: The situation we find ourselves in is my wife is really really clicking with the other guy’s wife and both of us guys are interested in each other’s wives as well, but us guys don’t have a whole ton in common yet, save for our lifestyle commonality.

During our last IM convo, the other guy’s wife went to bed and it was just the three of us (prob red flag number one). LSS, he ended up divulging information about their previous experiences that he knew was TMI and ended up lying to his wife about saying anything and asked us to keep his discretion on the down-low (red flag number two). His wife found him out the next day and that wasn’t so bad except he seemed more concerned that she was gonna throw in the swinging towel rather than how he hurt her (red flag number three).

Obviously this made us uncomfortable, but his wife calmed down rather quickly and we appear to be right back to where we left off beforehand and my wife is very encouraged as we thought that was gonna be a deal breaker given his wife’s caring and cautious nature.

My main question here is even though they didn’t break the deal, should we still pull the trigger given his indiscretion this early on? In his defense, he simply got carried away and divulged something he shouldn’tve out of excitement but the cover-up is what leaves me uneasy. The communication between my wife and I is awesome and got even better as we talked this problem out, but is their communication our concern too and should all three of us suffer simply because of the indiscretion of one? We feel it could’ve just as easily been our mistake as we’re human too and rookies to boot, but find it funny that our “rookie” communication appears better than theirs. We wonder that if he felt the need to lie at this point, how long has it been going on between the two of them and where does it end? Our instinct says that he’s in this for the wrong reasons, even though the other three of our little four-some appear to be on the same page.

Thanks everybody and you can prob guess my opinion here, but my instincts have been wrong before and my wife and I are on very new territory, so I’m not gonna jump to any conclusions w/out your experienced perspectives. Many heads are better than two (no pun intended)!

See what Julie and the rest of the real swingers at SwingersBoard had to say for an answer!