Today’s swinger question is brought to you by SwingersBoard!
I guess I’ll start out by saying I’m young. 21 to be exact.
I have been dating a man who is 40 for about three months now. I believe we genuinely care about each other, and have since the beginning of our relationship. He spends every night with me and we have fun, but more than that.
We’ve gone to a swing club four times now.
It started out as… he wanted to go, and I had fantasies that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do or not. Because of the way we feel about each other, he suggested that we go and I could… get it out of my system, basically.
The first time was… an eye-opener. I did not like the energy, and I hated another woman touching him. I did not give oral on a man, however I did on two women and received from a woman, and my man only had intercourse with me. There was a woman there I know he wanted to have sex with, and he even asked me to get a condom, just in case. That hurt.
But, it was hot touching women. We both liked it.
The second time we went… it was just drama. I invited him to go because I didn’t want to hold him back from something he wanted, and because I wanted him to not want it basically. Horrible reasons I know. We had a very nasty fight, which started there, and continued until the next night. He invited me to spend time with him, and warned we might go. I couldn’t say no, so I cried, sucked it up, and he arrived and we left.
The third time… I was… okay. We were both enjoying it and there together. Near the end of the night we sat down with a couple and the woman and I started playing, and she went down on me as I gave my man head and her husband a handjob. Now my man (let’s refer to him as Brownie from here on out, cause ‘my man’ is almost degrading)… Brownie… didn’t like that couple. I had offered her to go down on him, which we had talked about me not liking before. But I felt okay with it with that couple.
Brownie told me afterwards he didn’t like them. They were old and he didn’t think she was attractive.
We went a few nights ago, the fourth time. Something new happened.
I had the urge to have sex with someone else. I didn’t, but the want was still there. I had even asked him earlier that night why he didn’t fuck me (pardon my language) like one man was doing to a woman. (I’m sure you’ve seen it… just rough, I need it NOW and I’ll do what I have to to get it, sex. Hardcore porno style.)
I guess I’m coping with having these feelings of loving someone and doing these things.
At times I’m really insecure, and I tried to explain that to him last night. Others I’m fine, happy to be doing it with him.
This is a place I would be if I were alone or with someone I didn’t care about as much, just to have fun.
I’m wondering how you all do it??? You love someone, and you’re promised to them (marriage) and you swing. Does it bother you? Do you like seeing someone else with your partner?
I think I would like to do a full swing… but half of me is completely and wholly against seeing him with another woman. Sick against it. But there’s a little part that I think might turn me on. And I feel the same about being with another man. There’s a little part of me that would have a huge pleasure in it… just raw, energetic sex. But I also don’t want another man inside me… that’s Brownie’s place.
Outside of this place we have an amazing connection, and the intimacy is… mind-blowing.
And I used to be like him… sex is just sex sometimes. But it’s really hard for me to go back to that when I love someone now.
It’d just be nice to hear that someone was in the same place once, and where they went with it.
I would really appreciate any insight and advice you guys have, and am willing to answer any questions if it would help your insight.
I’m very conflicted about wanting these things. I know he wants them, and I would love to be able to do them for him, and of course myself because I enjoy certain things too.
How do you work past it? I’m wondering should I?
I want to, but then again I don’t…
Haha please help!!!!!
