Sex without strings. Wife-swapping. Recreational sex among consenting adults. Free sex.
There are probably hundreds of ways of defining the word ‘swinger’ as it relates to sex practices, and few would adequately define the true nature of the swinger lifestyle. In fact, it might be easier to say what swinging isn’t.
Swinging isn’t sex without consequences.
No matter how strong your relationship with your significant other, no matter how ‘experienced’ in the swinging lifestyle you may be, every sexual encounter has consequences. In every sexual experience a swinger may have, there are factors to consider:
How am I affecting my relationship with my significant other by doing this? How am I affecting the relationship between me and the person I’m having sex with? Am I risking health problems by engaging in this activity?
Most experienced swinger couples may rarely feel the need to discuss these on-going issues, but they are factors that affect every experience, every time.
Swinging isn’t cheating.
And, equally importantly, cheating is NOT swinging. Because this is an area many people who are new to the swinging lifestyle struggle with, we’ll discuss this many times. It’s difficult for many people to grasp…how is it not cheating to have sex with someone other than your significant other? How can it cheating if I’m having sex with a swinger couple? The key is the separation of the physical and emotional feelings between people, and the importance of truthfulness and trust in a relationship.
Swinging isn’t easy.
It can be a whole lot of fun, of course, or millions of people wouldn’t engage in it, but the experience is certainly NOT as simple and easy as one might assume from watching a porn video. Especially when starting out, there are emotions to deal with, feelings to be handled carefully and expectations to be tempered.
Swinging isn’t for everyone.
Everyone has sexual ‘hangups’ of one sort or another, everyone experiences feelings of jealousy and inadequacy at times and we all must live in a world that’s not completely hedonistic and self-gratifying. For some, sexual repression, whether it comes from religious beliefs, past experiences that left emotional scars or an upbringing that stifled sexuality, sex itself may be a difficult experience, let alone the pressures and emotions that come with the swinging lifestyle.
Swinging isn’t a heterosexual activity.
More precisely, it’s not strictly a heterosexual practice. Homosexual swinging – both gay and lesbian – takes place as often (if not more often) than in the heterosexual community. Bisexuality – primarily in women – has become almost a ‘given’ among the heterosexual swinging community (although there are plenty of female swingers who are NOT bisexual).
Swinging isn’t just about sex.
Sex may be the underlying activity that brings swingers together, but great friendships are built between couples and groups just as they would be in any other circumstance – and for many people, the ‘tease’ leading up to the act of sex, whether it be a fun night of partying at an off-premise swingers club or a sexy dinner with another couple at a nice restaurant – is the primary attraction of the lifestyle.
So what, exactly, IS swinging?
At it’s best, it’s a healthy expression of our innate sexual appetites as humans, a way to experience physical pleasures beyond the grasp of ‘everyday’ society, a way to fulfill fantasies, a chance to be part of friendships that are stronger and more fun than most, an opportunity to take a strong relationship between two people and make it stronger. It’s a way for everyday people to share extraordinary sexual experiences.
At it’s worst, it can result in some major disappointment, make a bad relationship worse and even be a relationship killer.
As a Swinger College grad, though, you’ll have knowledge under your belt (no pun intended) to make smart decisions, handle sticky situations (again, no pun intended!) and avoid the negatives and pitfalls in the swinging lifestyle.
Swinging has likely been around in one form or another since the dawn of humanity, as we human animals are – whether we like to admit it or not – a pretty adventurous species when it comes to sex. The term ‘swinging’ came about in the 1960′s as wife-swapping and sex parties (sometimes ‘key parties’ where everyone’s car keys went in a bowl to be randomly fished out to find a partner) became popular in the decade of Free Love. Women’s liberation and ‘the pill’ helped women feel more free to express their sexuality, and while the ’70′s and ’80′s saw a decline in the swinging lifestyle, it never went away totally – far from it. But it wasn’t until the internet revolution of the 1990′s – when many people happened upon swinger websites and suddenly realized that LOTS of people were swingers and it wasn’t such a crazy idea – that swinger clubs gained a much bigger following.
Today, every major city in the United States, Canada and Europe has at least one swinger club – and most have several – and even in areas considered conservative, you’re likely to find at least one swinger club. NASCA – the national association of swing clubs – lists swinger clubs in every U.S. state except Montana, North & South Dakota and Alaska, as well as in many countries in Europe and South America, Japan, Australia, Mexico, South Africa, Thailand and Turkey. So-called ‘lifestyle’ resorts abound in Mexico, the Caribbean and elsewhere as vacation destinations for adventurous couples.
