Simple definitions: a soft-swap couple is one who only has intercourse with their own partner. A full-swap couple has intercourse with a swapping couple.
In real life, though, things are rarely so simple. You may decide one night that you’re a soft-swap couple only, or full-swap only with the right couple. Another night, you’re into it completely and looking for full-swap from the time you hit the door.
New couples frequently start out as soft-swap – kind of ‘testing the waters’ before going ‘all the way.’ However, there are plenty of couples who have been part of the lifestyle for years who prefer soft-swap…so it’s important that you communicate before things get rolling!
What happens in a soft-swap experience varies, however…it could be having sex with your own partner in the same room as another couple (basically a voyeuristic experience); it could be any form of contact with the other couple up to intercourse (for example – some touching, kissing, caressing…or even up to oral sex).
People generally feel more comfortable with their own partner, so even full-swap swinging often starts out with some soft-swap play…you and your partner might get naked and playful or start some oral sex as a turn-on to get things heated up.
If you’re just starting out swinging, discuss with your partner what you’re comfortable doing. Even if you decide you want full-swap, don’t worry or get discouraged if you have several soft-swap experiences before anything that’s full-swap. As you get more comfortable in swinging, things will come more naturally (no pun intended!)
And make sure you communicate with potential partners before you start playing…there’s no fun in getting all ‘heated up’ and expectant of full-swap when you’re playing with a soft-swap couple!
