Don’t go into swinging thinking it’s the easiest thing in the world…meeting other couples for sex is a lot like when you were single and looking for a partner for sex…in fact, if anything, finding swinger partners is a lot LIKE dating, and in many ways more difficult because you’re dealing with four people (or more) instead of two.
Don’t expect that you’re going to be suddenly thrust into a lifestyle while untold numbers of hot people of the opposite sex suddenly want to have sex with you. In fact, don’t assume that anyone in the swinger community wants to have sex with you…just like in dating, potential swinger partners are going to want to be attracted to you, first of all, not just physically but personality-wise as well. Even in ‘group rooms’ full of naked people screwing in one big orgy, you’re going to be expected to be something less than all-out fuck pig.
Don’t expect that your first swinger experience is going to be perfect. There’s as much awkwardness in swinger experiences as there is in any non-swinger sexual experience, and sometimes it takes a few tries to get things right.
If you’re male, don’t expect that you’re going to be able to get and keep a hard-on without some help. There’s a reason Viagra and other such pills are so popular in the swinger community; it’s not that uncommon to find out that ole Mr. Surewood isn’t so sure when he’s in a group situation. It’s better to go prepared than to worry about it when it happens, though, so visit your doctor beforehand if you have any sort of doubt.
If you’re female, don’t expect that guys know what they’re doing just because they’re swingers. There are plenty of guys who are bad at sex in the swinger community – as many as there are outside. Don’t expect that a guy is going to know what you like – you may have become so comfortable with your partner that you forget that others come from different experiences and may try something that you simply don’t enjoy. Communicate, guide…you’ll find that most men are interested in making sure you enjoy yourself as much as you can, and the more you help them, the more you’ll help yourself.
And finally, don’t expect that just because you’re a swinger, your sex life with your regular partner can be forgotten. You need to continue to work at making your sexual relationship the best it can be – both in and out of swinging!
